Six years ago I graduated from college with a Bachelor’s degree in Art. I then decided I wanted to work in higher education and applied for a Master’s in Leadership program and was accepted. I started living in an apartment on my college campus and working as a Graduate Assistant, facilitating programming for college students. I liked this job a lot, I loved the town I lived in, and it seemed that my career path was laid out before me.
At this time I was also engaged to Jeramy, who was living 45 minutes away from me in the town we live in now, and we were excitedly planning our future together. At this point, I was sure our future would look something like this: me studying for my Master’s, both of us with careers working 40 hours a week, buying a house, waiting a while to have our two children, sending the children off to a daycare and then to school, travelling the world…
If you would have told me then that 6 years later I would be a Stay-at-home Mom who had practiced co-sleeping and attachment parenting, who would be planning to homeschool, who wanted to buy an old farmhouse and raise chickens…well, I might have laughed at you. Actually, I am sure I would have.
I still would like to go back to school someday. I still want to travel the world. I still want one more child (Jeramy is not so sure). However, my goals and my way of thinking have changed. A lot of this happened when I became a Mom. I didn’t change who I was and invest my entire identity in being a Mom, but motherhood did drastically shift my priorities and mindset. I don’t think you can come into parenthood without that happening to some degree. Simon makes me less self-centered, less worried about some of the insignificant things that I dwelled on before. I appreciate the little details of my days, things I never noticed before. I enjoy a slower pace of life, one that longs to be more connected to nature .
The home buying process that we are going through right now has made me think a lot about the type of person I am right now, and what we want to do in this next phase of our life together. I see myself waking and kneading the bread dough after breakfast. I see Simon and I, out in the yard, pulling weeds together. I see us practicing his letters and counting by the fire. I see us hosting our friends around the table for good conversation and food, including vegetables from our own garden, and then taking the rinds/peels/shells out to the compost bin. I see Jeramy tinkering at his workbench, or setting up our rain barrel in the backyard. I see Simon chasing down grasshoppers and ants. I see myself at my drafting table, working on a watercolor still life of the tulips I cut from the garden moments before. I see Jeramy sitting in the library armchair, reading the latest Terry Pratchett novel and chuckling to himself.
I could go on and on about these dreams of mine. They may be humble and non-glamorous, they may not fall in step with most of the people our age. We have always done things a little differently though, from our wedding to our parenting style. I like it that way, and I feel so blessed to have found a partner in this life who shares my quirky yet simple goals and dreams.
In two days we will celebrate our fifth year of marriage. In nine days we will have been together as a couple for fourteen. We have changed and grown a lot together in that time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.