As I have previously mentioned, I just hit a milestone birthday. I spent the last decade dreading this number, fretting over what it would mean. Somehow, I was sure that my youth would disappear in a puff of smoke and I would be changed the minute I entered this new number in age.
It turns out I was both wrong and right.
I was wrong because I am still youthful…I am still capable of being fun, creative, interesting, funny, silly, and curious. I can even be stylish or sassy if I want to. I can still be the same me that I was this time last year, without fear of it being taboo or immature. In fact, I have realized the absurdity of certain traits being attributed to the young only. Why can’t I still be all these things at ninety!?
I was also right because, in the period of time leading up to this birthday I was doing a lot of reflecting on the differences between my twenty-something self and who I am now. I have learned a great deal about who I am, and found a new sense of confidence. Not that I am always sure of myself, just that I am very much more so than I used to be. It really can come with age.
I now know it is a waste to worry about what other people think of me, or what body type I have. It isn’t important if there is clutter when company arrives, or that some people have more things than I do. I have learned that I am not measured by my career, or my wardrobe, or my trophies. I also know that my mistakes can be important (though unfortunate) lessons to me, and that they don’t make me less of a person. I know that some days will be better than others…in fact some weeks, months, even years will be better than others, but time goes on and things change and my attitude can make all the difference. I also know that sometimes I will forget all of this new-found wisdom.
I really am an older, wiser me…but I am still allowed to falter and flounder and learn. Just because I am thirty does not mean I am required to have it all figured out, or to have checked off some list of things that everyone seems to believe need to be done by now.
I am proud to be a Mom, a Wife, an Artist, a Crafter, a Thinker, a Sleeper, a Scatterbrain, a Nerd, a Woman. I am a work in progress, and that is ok.