I almost didn’t write before the end of the day again. I had an entirely different blog post planned, in which I would share the final product and a partial tutorial of the sewing project I have been working on. However, I spent the entire day being so much of a perfectionist, that I never got around to declaring the thing share-worthy. Whenever I create something I get like that. Both proud to have made it, yet terrified to let it exist in the world and be scrutinized at the same time.
Interesting, then, that I would spend the whole day afraid to post about something I made, but then turn around and spend the entire night sharing my artwork with a dear friend. He came over for tea and conversation, and when the topic went to art, I dragged out a few of my acrylic paintings and lino prints to show him. It felt like I was showing him my blood or my lungs or something. I made them, and therefore I feel like I am showing off a part of me. I know that sounds cliché, and I also know it is dangerous for someone who wants to make a living off their work someday to view it as so precious. But that really is how it feels.
At the same time though, it felt really good to show my work to another artist again. I haven’t done much of that since art school, and it motivated me to dive back in. Sharing helps me remember that hard work does pay off. Art takes practice, and development, and critique in order to grow.
Tomorrow I will share my sewing. I will stop feeling embarrassed to be a beginner. I was a beginner at everything once, but just starting out is something to be proud of in itself.